Tuesday, May 17, 2011
finally
Why only until now that I realized that everything just cant get back in track anymore? Why only until now that I realized what people said are true? Why only until now that I realized that... Why only when I see it, then I dare to accept the facts? Why Im fucking lonely? Why I am fucking depressed just because of you? Why?
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Dear God
I dont know where or how to start but i dont know whether you will help me or not too, because i keep wasting your time, but i know your patient already to me, because until now im still alive because of your grace, God, i wish you will help me bless me and make me not that lonely anymore, i love you God,
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
You Are My Hiding Place
God,
Im so confused what should I do in my life, what can i do?Im so afraid , i dont know what i want Lord, really... i feel so insecure, what should i do? i know every single day i sinned against you, i feel so bad, im so bad, lord, teach me to love you please, and to trust you, and really guide me...
Im so confused what should I do in my life, what can i do?Im so afraid , i dont know what i want Lord, really... i feel so insecure, what should i do? i know every single day i sinned against you, i feel so bad, im so bad, lord, teach me to love you please, and to trust you, and really guide me...
Sunday, April 24, 2011
A New Day
God,
Teach me, teach me to face problem in my life, make me smile, smile, bless me My Lord :) I love you my Lord ^^
Teach me, teach me to face problem in my life, make me smile, smile, bless me My Lord :) I love you my Lord ^^
....24 April 2011
Lord,
Today I heard that my friend's sister died..life is so short, I just want to love, really, that's all, I wanted to love and be loved but it seemed so hard in my life, how come?
I miss him Lord, so much, or actually I miss the old him, the him when i feel so cute like a baby... Lord, anyway out of this? You know what i feel in my heart, right? How much I wish we can do a lot of things together, worshipping you, I wish he can become a christian, but, Im in a bad state too, how I can guide him? Your right, a blind man guide the other one is hopeless, can you bless him Lord? Always take care of him ..he has a good heart .. Im too dependent on this world, bring me out My Lord, bring me out of all this, all this, I wish Im for you, Help me Lord, thanks !
Today I heard that my friend's sister died..life is so short, I just want to love, really, that's all, I wanted to love and be loved but it seemed so hard in my life, how come?
I miss him Lord, so much, or actually I miss the old him, the him when i feel so cute like a baby... Lord, anyway out of this? You know what i feel in my heart, right? How much I wish we can do a lot of things together, worshipping you, I wish he can become a christian, but, Im in a bad state too, how I can guide him? Your right, a blind man guide the other one is hopeless, can you bless him Lord? Always take care of him ..he has a good heart .. Im too dependent on this world, bring me out My Lord, bring me out of all this, all this, I wish Im for you, Help me Lord, thanks !
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Too sad...
Dear God,
You know Im too sad, everyday Im too sad, because I miss him too much, I just want someone who can stay beside me, beside me to be with me so I wont that lonely, Lord, Ive think a lot of things lately, Im really lack of confidence, yesterday I went to club another time with friends, meeting new people, yeah, yesterday it feels so good, feel like finally I can forget about Ramin for a moment, in fact I feel so good being "pretty" near the guys, being the centre of attention, I drink and I feel free, I feel so happy, but then, I went back, I cant sleep for whole night, lately, I dont feel like eating again, and this morning I feel so weak, I wanted to vommit, everyday I wake up, I dont know what's the purpose of my life, each day of my life, I feel too lifeless, too empty, too uncertain about my own future, I do hope a lot of things, wish a lot of things.. I wish I can give up Ramin, because I know he already give up on me, but each time I think again how much we loved each other before, every memories, how much I can really feel his heart, I miss that warm hug, warm words, everything from him .. but Infact, Im too lonely now without him, whatelse can I do now My Lord? I dont have any confidence anymore, anymore, anymore... He told me his heart is too broken, too sad, and nothing can heal it, I wonder could he ever be like what Im feeling right now? I wish I can hug him, and feel him another time like before, but Lord, I know I deserve all of these... I know this time when he come back, I will lose him finally, what should I do? I dont have confidence to go to church anymore, can you help me to fill this heart, even you Lord, I cant even feel you, how come? Why Im left so lonely in this earth, why? Gideon is right when he said I can chose my own life, choice is in my hand, but the biggest fear in my life is to make choices. This kills me , hurt me so badly, so much, at the end of the day, I still miss Ramin, or the old Ramin I know, Ramin, I love you, so much. Lord, I remember I told you I know our relationship indeed is a sin, and I asked you to let him treat me badly so I can come bad to you, Im so sorry my Lord because my heart seem to chose him more than you now, Im so sorry My Lord. I dont know what I want in my life.
You know Im too sad, everyday Im too sad, because I miss him too much, I just want someone who can stay beside me, beside me to be with me so I wont that lonely, Lord, Ive think a lot of things lately, Im really lack of confidence, yesterday I went to club another time with friends, meeting new people, yeah, yesterday it feels so good, feel like finally I can forget about Ramin for a moment, in fact I feel so good being "pretty" near the guys, being the centre of attention, I drink and I feel free, I feel so happy, but then, I went back, I cant sleep for whole night, lately, I dont feel like eating again, and this morning I feel so weak, I wanted to vommit, everyday I wake up, I dont know what's the purpose of my life, each day of my life, I feel too lifeless, too empty, too uncertain about my own future, I do hope a lot of things, wish a lot of things.. I wish I can give up Ramin, because I know he already give up on me, but each time I think again how much we loved each other before, every memories, how much I can really feel his heart, I miss that warm hug, warm words, everything from him .. but Infact, Im too lonely now without him, whatelse can I do now My Lord? I dont have any confidence anymore, anymore, anymore... He told me his heart is too broken, too sad, and nothing can heal it, I wonder could he ever be like what Im feeling right now? I wish I can hug him, and feel him another time like before, but Lord, I know I deserve all of these... I know this time when he come back, I will lose him finally, what should I do? I dont have confidence to go to church anymore, can you help me to fill this heart, even you Lord, I cant even feel you, how come? Why Im left so lonely in this earth, why? Gideon is right when he said I can chose my own life, choice is in my hand, but the biggest fear in my life is to make choices. This kills me , hurt me so badly, so much, at the end of the day, I still miss Ramin, or the old Ramin I know, Ramin, I love you, so much. Lord, I remember I told you I know our relationship indeed is a sin, and I asked you to let him treat me badly so I can come bad to you, Im so sorry my Lord because my heart seem to chose him more than you now, Im so sorry My Lord. I dont know what I want in my life.
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