Jesus

I just feel like to love someone.. got friends around to love and to be loved is really a blessing from you. Thank you Lord for all the blessings you pour on me.. Thank you Abba Father.. I love you :)

Jesus

Dear Jesus,

I wish to love you, to learn about you more, more than I can ever imagine :-) Please help me yahhhh hehe :)

Im sorry

Im so sorry Jesus.

Oceans Will Part

God...

Please let me get rid of this feeling..another time...thanks :)

How

How to be with you, love you, feel you all over again? Seems like no matter what, I cant get it with you, Lord... How to walk with you at the same time achieve what I want in my life?

Lord,

You wanna know what's my problem now? Im so financially stuck, and I am damned lonely, so lonely until I cant breathe and I dont know what to do, Im scared, help me my Lord, help me, listen to my plead...bless me my Lord, I love you, I love you not? This tortures me so much...

God..

Dear God,

Somehow I know you keep arranging my life, keep helping me, I knew in my heart.. I know your blessing keep pouring out to me, I wanna give you thanks again My Lord, I would like to tell you dont stop, make me happy, that's my wish My lord. Lord, I know I disobey you so much, in fact, I cant even say it out, because it happens every single second in my life, Lord, just really hope I could get back to you before it's too late, I know I would get the same answer, It's just the matter I want or no. But thanks Lord, today, I get to know more new friends that are positive in my life, they are still new, but bless me Lord, guide me into that new relationship, I sense your granting my prayers indeed.

Lord,

Please bless him, he's sick another time :( and tonight he's heading to penang, he got so angry at You, I dont know why, whenever something bad happens to him, he blame it all on You, please forgive him, forgive both of us. But Lord, Im really worried for his trip, please guide him, and protect him all the way long, let him come back safely, how i wish his heart would be touched...how i wish we could walk this road together to you..it seems so impossible with him..I can only imagine...dont know why Lord, sometimes I also feel too weird about our relationship, we fought every single day, every single day, but it just wont last long, and sometimes we even laugh at ourselves the way we fought, dont know if it already become a routine for us? i wanna go away from him, forget about him, and start through a new life, but things come up, and i ended worrying about him..when he would ever melt down his heart and be serious. I love him God, and I wish I can love him too even when i leave him, in fact i wish to love him with a clean heart. Or Im just too naive? Protect Him My Lord....

Wish to love you over and over again forever and ever my life...

finally

Why only until now that I realized that everything just cant get back in track anymore? Why only until now that I realized what people said are true? Why only until now that I realized that... Why only when I see it, then I dare to accept the facts? Why Im fucking lonely? Why I am fucking depressed just because of you? Why?

Dear God

I dont know where or how to start but i dont know whether you will help me or not too, because i keep wasting your time, but i know your patient already to me, because until now im still alive because of your grace, God, i wish you will help me bless me and make me not that lonely anymore, i love you God,

You Are My Hiding Place

God,

Im so confused what should I do in my life, what can i do?Im so afraid , i dont know what i want Lord, really... i feel so insecure, what should i do? i know every single day i sinned against you, i feel so bad, im so bad, lord, teach me to love you please, and to trust you, and really guide me...

A New Day

God,

Teach me, teach me to face problem in my life, make me smile, smile, bless me My Lord :) I love you my Lord ^^

....24 April 2011

Lord,

Today I heard that my friend's sister died..life is so short, I just want to love, really, that's all, I wanted to love and be loved but it seemed so hard in my life, how come?

I miss him Lord, so much, or actually I miss the old him, the him when i feel so cute like a baby... Lord, anyway out of this? You know what i feel in my heart, right? How much I wish we can do a lot of things together, worshipping you, I wish he can become a christian, but, Im in a bad state too, how I can guide him? Your right, a blind man guide the other one is hopeless, can you bless him Lord? Always take care of him ..he has a good heart .. Im too dependent on this world, bring me out My Lord, bring me out of all this, all this, I wish Im for you, Help me Lord, thanks !

ARASH - Broken Angel (Official Video)

Lonely, Just like Me

Too sad...

Dear God,

You know Im too sad, everyday Im too sad, because I miss him too much, I just want someone who can stay beside me, beside me to be with me so I wont that lonely, Lord, Ive think a lot of things lately, Im really lack of confidence, yesterday I went to club another time with friends, meeting new people, yeah, yesterday it feels so good, feel like finally I can forget about Ramin for a moment, in fact I feel so good being "pretty" near the guys, being the centre of attention, I drink and I feel free, I feel so happy, but then, I went back, I cant sleep for whole night, lately, I dont feel like eating again, and this morning I feel so weak, I wanted to vommit, everyday I wake up, I dont know what's the purpose of my life, each day of my life, I feel too lifeless, too empty, too uncertain about my own future, I do hope a lot of things, wish a lot of things.. I wish I can give up Ramin, because I know he already give up on me, but each time I think again how much we loved each other before, every memories, how much I can really feel his heart, I miss that warm hug, warm words, everything from him .. but Infact, Im too lonely now without him, whatelse can I do now My Lord? I dont have any confidence anymore, anymore, anymore... He told me his heart is too broken, too sad, and nothing can heal it, I wonder could he ever be like what Im feeling right now? I wish I can hug him, and feel him another time like before, but Lord, I know I deserve all of these... I know this time when he come back, I will lose him finally, what should I do? I dont have confidence to go to church anymore, can you help me to fill this heart, even you Lord, I cant even feel you, how come? Why Im left so lonely in this earth, why? Gideon is right when he said I can chose my own life, choice is in my hand, but the biggest fear in my life is to make choices. This kills me , hurt me so badly, so much, at the end of the day, I still miss Ramin, or the old Ramin I know, Ramin, I love you, so much. Lord, I remember I told you I know our relationship indeed is a sin, and I asked you to let him treat me badly so I can come bad to you, Im so sorry my Lord because my heart seem to chose him more than you now, Im so sorry My Lord. I dont know what I want in my life.

God

God,

All people told me, all people told me hes not for me, I found it so hard for me to accept, I wonder in my heart, perhaps its your will, perhaps you will change him, change me, change both of us together, but I know myself now, nothing can change everything back anymore, just God, SORRY! Whatelse can I say, it's all my fault, Im too scared, too scared, what can I do anymore to stop all these things ... whatever then :'(

who?

Who can understand what I feel?
Who can understand what I really want? Even I dont know what I really want, I know it's a dead road to choose you be part of my life, Do you think it's that easy to forget you? Yeah, i know you treat me so bad, although I know I dont treat you that good either, fights, argument fills our days together, insecure, anger, sadness, lust never forget to pass by, but your already part of my life, how Im gonna forget you who sleep beside me every night? I can feel our heart is so empty when we face each other day by day, everything is fading.... or it never exists? I thought this time you go back, I wont miss you, but its wrong, perhaps i will try my best. I wish I could be set free from you, from your shadows, from your sound, from your everything, but, ..... it's so hard, so hard ... no matter who I go out with, where I go, how i hang out with people.... at the end of the day, i realized one thing, I miss you, I miss you, and I care about you..

Morning

So many things I wanna tell you, so many, so many, But I cant write it here, and Im wondering your listening to the shout of my heart Lord, everything that happens seems to become a routine for me, until I so get used to it, so use to it that I no longer know what's my feeling anymore, you know? Im sorry Lord, my conscience judge me for each single things I did to you, each single things I felt, each single things which I knew is wrong yet I continued doing, I know if Im sad, your 10000000000x more sad than me, that's why I will try my best not to complain, because ...

.....

Dear Lord ...

I feel so sorry to you, what can I do? What should I do? No matter what I think, what I do, Im sinning, Im sinning every single moment in my life, Im so sad Lord, where are you? Are you leaving me already? Im so bad, so bad, so bad... Lord, I wish you could help me block all the bad things from my life now, block everything, please bless me me Lord, bless me so much, because you know I need it right now, so much, your blessings would mean so much to me, teach me to love you all over again Lord...thanks

Lead Me to the Cross - Hillsong United (All of the Above)

03-02-2010

Hi God...

How are you? I miss you ... Please dont leave me yet. I really wanted to get closer to you, please find a way for me God. But sometimes you know what ? I just want to get away from all people,

=(

so boring, so damn boring...

so lonely, so damn lonely...

so clueless, so damn clueless...

so fed up, damn fed up...